Would you fly with your significant other?
Would you fly with your spouse or significant other if you were also a pilot?
This can be a touchy subject especially with two seasoned professional pilots who are are married or dating. They both share a common love of flying but most times it stops abruptly at the door of the cockpit--flying as a crew together.
I am a professional pilot even though it may not seem the case since I don't fly for the airlines. My husband is also a professional pilot which he has been doing for 16 years. I, on the other hand, have had the credentials to fly professionally for four years but only in multi engine aircraft. But the difference is not only the years, but that I have spent minimal time exercising this privilege.
So why does this matter? Well, my husband and I fly as closely to a professional crew as you can get in a general aviation aircraft. How the heck do we make this happen??
Well, I will say it does generate some laughs and comments when people first meet us. One time we were the crew for a Civil Air Patrol flight and our backseat crew member chuckled as we started the engine on the 182-- he said he was looking forward to seeing this, to seeing us fly together. I think he was expecting quite the show, but I think we might have disappointed him in theatrics but impressed him in our professionalism.
Now, don't get me wrong, we have had our moments. One in particular where I was livid--it was definitely a sterile cockpit until my husband landed the airplane at our destination.
This is how we make it work:
1) We both have a military background. I think this is a BIG key to our success. I remember in ROTC having to hang up my roommate/friend hat as I crossed the threshold of the detachment. Half of my roommates were upper class women. I spent hours getting grilled by them--having to stand at attention use only "Yes, Ma'am" or "Cadet ..." Then as we crossed back over the threshold we donned our friend and roommate hats. My husband and I also experienced exceptional military training during pilot training. This is where we learned how to manage everything, be professional, and fly the airplane.
2) We apply the same rules we learned in the military when flying together. I am no longer his wife, we're a crew. We use checklists and call outs.
3) We assign pilot and co-pilot duties.
4) We use positive transfer of controls. Using verbal confirmation that co-pilot or pilot has the controls.
5) If in doubt, we question each other. Just because my husband has thousands of hours in jets doesn't mean I can't questions something he is doing or if I think something doesn't look right. He does the same with me. This is extremely vital as any crew to allow for open communication. Pilots with a few hundred hours and those with thousands do make mistakes.
6) We debrief. It may not be a long debrief but we definitely discuss anything that we might have been upset about or if there was an abnormality during the flight.
7) If we get upset, unless it is because something is unsafe, we put it aside to discuss on the ground. We had an incident happen on our last flight together. My husband corrected me about something I had been doing while flying the aircraft that he noticed on a previous flight. I was confused as to what he was getting at because I wasn't actually doing that at the moment and then it was just poor timing to bring it up as we were taxiing to takeoff. I got pretty mad but then forced myself to take a deep breath and let it go for discussion at the destination. We flew just fine as a crew on the way home. Once we were safely on the ground, I then brought up the matter, but I didn't dwell on it while we were flying.
8) Respect. Respect each other and our abilities to fly. We both can fly an airplane.
9) Instructor-itis. This is more of something that happens to my husband. It's not really his fault because he is an instructor and evaluator pilot for his work. But it can turn into nit-picking with, especially, a spouse. I found after a certain point in my flying experience, that he was giving too much input in how I was flying. I finally had to ask him to back off. If it was safe and legal, then he needed to keep quiet because it was driving me nuts.
10) Accepting of corrections. I've called my husband out on various things when we've flown together. Such as, calling out his rapid descent during a practice instrument approach, or, a long time ago, I had to take the aircraft from him in the pattern because, at the time, he was used to flying very large aircraft and he was flying the Cessna 152 we rented as if it was that large aircraft! And don't you worry, he has had to correct me a lot too. But it's about accepting the correction if it is necessary and not letting your ego get the best of you.
11) Have fun!! Most of all we try to have fun. We our lucky that we both love flying and owning aircraft.
